Sorry, Dude

As my faithful readers know, last week as a doozy for the Lolster. So, I was extremely pleased when my boy The Handsome One (THO) invited me out Friday night to see Redbelt (a great flick, more about that later).

THO doesn't have a car, so I picked him up/dropped him off. For some reason, he waits til we are outside of his apartment building to talk to be about the shit Ive been going through. Of course, this conversation makes me cry. While I was crying Friday night, something interesting happened.

Well, it wasn't just interesting, it was several things: Interesting, scary, and sad.

Yes, dear readers, I either foiled a robbery attempt of offended the shit out of yet another young Black man.

You see, while I was crying, a young Black man walked up the sidewalk towards the car (from the front, we were facing each other). Dude then asked where the Adams Morgan neighborhood was. Seeing as we were in that neighborhood, my hackles went up.

THOs didn't though, and he tried to give the fellow directions. Well, Young Dude made the mistake of stepping off the sidewalk into the street, closer to my car, and his hands kept moving around his front/pocket area, so you know what Lola did...I jetted.

Yep, I turned my car alarm off, turned that puppy on, and drove the fuck off, all while pointing behind me and saying,

"Its back that way!"

Why did I do this? Because I was frightened. I was scared. I didn't want to get robbed that way again. A few years ago, my younger sister and I were mugged that why, by a man who just walked up on our car while we were getting out. I wound up losing $40 dollars and a pair of earrings that day. And I wasn't very happy about it, either. So that's why I took off.

Plus I was with THO who, in his practical manner, would probably have made me give everything I had to any criminal had we actually been mugged.

"Just do what he says Lola"

Um, yeah, no. Call me a bitch, call me an attitudinal Black heifer, I dint care, but I do not just let any old criminal take what they want from me without a struggle. You want my shit? Well you best be prepared to work for it! And I just cant see THO being, um, a "ride-or-die" dude, "down for whateva." So, I took off.

I did want to write this post just to say to the young man that, in the event that you are not a criminal, I'm sorry if I offended you with my actions Friday evening. I did not mean it as a personal affront. But, given my past experiences, it makes sense that I would react this way. No, I'm not a stank suburban bitch with no "street smarts" who thinks all Black men are out to get her, I'm just a regular old chick who has had much taken from her in the past, and cant stand to lose much more.

If you are not a criminal, please accept my apology. Sorry, dude.

Think of it this way: You now have an interesting story to tell at parties!

TMI Tuesday

You know the drill - TMI baby!

1. Is there a TV show you HAVE to watch? If so, what is it?

Um, I don't think I have any of those at this time. While there are shows I like to watch - ER, Grays Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother, etc - I don't think I have to watch them. Id much rather be out doing things with other people.

2. What is you favorite drink if you are going to drink more than one?

Coke, extra sweet with a lot of syrup.

3. How long do you carry guilt around with you?

Oh Lord, forever? Depends on the infraction (or supposed one). If it was a really, really bad thing, then yes, forever. If it wasn't that bad, not even a few hours.

4. Where is or would be your number one romantic get away spot?

Grand Cayman. Hands down.

5. Have you ever seen a counselor?

Oh hell yes.

Bonus (as in optional): Last summer the Archives of Sexual Behavior the 237 reasons people have sex and the Top 50 Reasons Men and Women Have Sex. What are your top 5 reasons?

Haven't we done this one already?? Ok Imma try this again:

1) Horny and want to have some orgasms

2) Emotional/caring/loving and want to share that with another person

3) Want to feel close to another person (ie want to be held)

4) Bored

5) Because he wants to

Manic Monday

Yes, I know, I'm a day late. I did try to do this post yesterday, but the DC Public Library system isn't happy with the Daily Motion website. I was disenfranchised!

This weeks choice is in honor of Mothers Day. "Veronica", by Elvis Costello, is a song he wrote for his grandmother, who suffered from Alzheimer's. I'm dedicating this to the women on my mothers side of the family, which is rife with Alzheimer's disease and various forms of dementia: You might not know who I am, but I still love and honor you.

I hope you readers had a good Mothers Day - enjoy!

Elvis Costello - Veronica
Uploaded by PigLips

The One Thing

There's one thing that's keeping me from crying this afternoon at work and that's brothers site, Stuff Black People Hate. Its been out for a lil'minute, so I'm late, but that doesn't diminish the humor of the blog. Dude is funny as hell! And angry too! Several posts have made me laugh, almost hysterically, and today that's a good thing.

Thanks man.

So, if you havent been to read about stuff Blacks hate, go check him out!

Better Days My Ass

I havent seen a "better day" in a long ass time, and at this somewhat young age, I dont think Im going to be seeing any, ever.

Yeah, Im really depressed.

I dont think I was meant for this world. I dont think I was created to have a normal, functional life with other people. I never have fit in, and I dont think I ever will.

Folks say, "reach out to people, and someone will be there." Thats bullshit.

Ive reached out so many times. Even if I look at a short period of time, this calendar year, I can count how many times folks have said that to me, have said that they see what Im going through and that theyre "there" for me, but nothing ever come of it.

I call the few folks I think are still my friends, and try to talk to them, but they actually have lives, that dont really include me. I try to fit into their lives, asking for them to spend a little time with me, go out for coffee, maybe a short lunch, anything to get me out of the house, anything to make me feel like Im actually a part of this world, but it doesnt happen.

My Godmother told me she understood where I was, and that she wanted to help me, but she hasnt called. Nor has she done anything with me since February. Ive called her though.

Dont get me wrong, I know folks are busy, I know folks have other things going on in their lives, but damn.

Its not like I have family. Its not like i have a mom or dad to call when I need to talk. Just talk.

I keep reachign out to folks, thinking, hoping and praying that if I try to be there for someone else, the universe will send me someone when Im in need, but that doesnt seem to happen.

I try to find joy in the little things, but lately its becoming very, very hard.

Im tired of living this way.

TMI Tuesday

Learn it. Love it. Live it. TMI baby!


1. How many cell phones have you had? How long have you had your current cell phone number?

I'm on cell phone number four. Ive had this cell number since...2003 I believe. Wow, that's a long time.

2. Where was the last place you had sex?

On the futon at The Handsome One's place. Nice. Very nice. Truly sublime.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your love life? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest).

Um, er, uh, "satisfied" with my "love life?" Id go for a good, solid 3. God I need a date/s.

4. Does Bliss sound like a fun game to you? Have you ever played it?

Bliss sounds like a skincare line, so no it doesn't sound like it'd be a fun game.

5. Is there anything or anyone you would be willing to die for?

To save a good person. Dunno who right now, but that sounds like a good cause to me.

Bonus (as in optional): If you were (or had) a magic genie and could only grant wishes for others and you only had three left, what would they be and who would they be for?

1) To cover my two nieces' college/graduate school educations so they could get off to a good start.

2) To give my two sisters' relationships that were happy and fulfilling.

3) To give the Poofty a therapist that he'd see long term, and grow as a result!

Manic Monday

Hey boys and girls, its Manic Monday time! Yeaaaaa! Today Im feeling a mite frisky, and really want to play something thats seriously upbeat, hardcore, and, some might say...a little violent. Yep, today Im featuring The Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" live in Moscow's Red Square.

Im dedicating this song to those two women who tried to break bad with me yesterday at Eastern Market.

You see, Lola decided to head on down there for some farm fresh fruits and veggies. But, upon arrival, discovered that in addition to the outdoor markets, there was a festival going on: The 44th Annual Market Day! I walked through the market, heading towards the stage, cause there was a good band playing. The drummer was so cute! But while I was there, attempting to mind my own business, Lola caught shade from two, yes two, women.

I can be a very nice person. But I can also be a hugemongeous bitch, so dont test me. So, be wary, and enjoy the song!

Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up (live Red Square 1997)
Uploaded by pulson_q